What do you do when your best friend breaks your heart? How do you recover when all you wanna do is to cry... and the tears burn your cheeks till flesh shows up... when you sit numb and cant move... how do you move on? When will the rainbow come? Cuz at the moment... just a cold rain drops on me and makes me shiver... My big brown eyes are red and tired... when someone looks in them.. they know... those are the saddest eyes one may know...
I experience songs's lyrics more intensely than I feel the moments of my own life.. maybe cuz I let it pass me by too often... I used to grab each chance and LIVE! now I come to terms with how it is.. I just persuade the whole world I don't but I no longer fight for what I want... I just take each day as it comes... with no plan or expectations.. I only stop to think about my life.. every once in a while... and then... I think of you.. my entire life... even tho... these days... you're just a dream... a fantasy.. I no longer know anything about you.. you're the "you" from adele's someone like you
A cold fact is that I don't look for anyone these days... but I look into the mirror with the saddest brown eyes.. and turn off the lights at night with no one by my side..
I occupy my head with all sorts of things every single day.. and put off figuring out my needs and who I wanna be..
I cried in my car today in the middle of the traffic jam... stunned with heartbreaking tunes rushing thru my head..
How can I move on with my life, if I don't know what I want? Do I want to be a strong woman who cares about herself? Or do I need comfort and security in a strong man's arms? Do I want dirty sex and butterflies in my head? Do I want to rely on someone else's point of view? Or do I want to create all the rules? Do I....?
Shall I open up to people and search for The One... Or take the back seat & wait patiently for him to come...